I show this to you now in full knowledge that when we get home, Ladybug will want to dress Kirk and Boomer up like this.

While we were in Denver, we went to the Celestial Seasonings tea factory. It was Halloween, so lots of people were dressed up. Two of the women on the tour with us were dressed, one as Beeker. Best Halloween costume ever.

They make you wear hairnets. Heh.

Here’s a wonderful site: Panexa. If you have ever experienced pain, baldness, itching, swelling, green poo, or shortness of breath after heavy exercise, you may need to take this drug. It’s important that you read all the way through. (If you’ve already seen it, sorry. I’m way behind the curve on this wonder-drug, I found out about it from the NY Times.)

Thread of the day, courtesy of the Wolf Web.

I’ve been sitting on a big meme post, since it’s for iTunes and I have recently cleaned a lot of music off of my work machine. So I wanted to wait until I could get to the 20,000+ tunes on my home machine before answering Wade’s meme.

Instead, here’s Jason’s meme, answered with my work machine.

What do you think of me, iTunes?
“These Words” - Natasha Bedingfield - Unwritten
Why, thank you, iTunes. I quite like you as well. I’m pleased that not only do you love me, you had the foresight to play my most-played song on my work machine when I asked for a refresh.

Will I have a happy life?
“Johnny B. Goode” - Chuck Berry - The Wonder Years soundtrack
Why, iTunes, I didn’t know you believed in karma. I am trying to be a good boy, I am! So, I’m going to assume that since you love me so much, you also think I’m a good boy, and I will have a happy life. Thanks!

What do my friends really think of me?
“London Song” - The Breeders - Title TK
Well, I do sometimes cut through the static and get to what’s real. But are you trying to say that I have a lot of static, or that my friends do? Oh, iTunes, when did you get so cynical?

Do people secretly lust after me?
“Signature Drinks” - The Rosebuds - The Rosebuds Make Out
Hey, I don’t think it’s any secret that when Ladybug’s had a few to drink, she lusts after me. But are you saying that I’m much more attractive to everyone when they’re drunk?

How can I make myself happy?
“Happiness is a Warm Gun” - The Breeders - Pod
Whoa! … I guess I’ll hit a gun show.

What should I do with my life?
“California One Youth and Beauty Brigade” - The Decemberists - Castaways and Cutouts
Hmm. I’d hoped I wouldn’t have to leave North Carolina any time soon, but I’m headed to join the Youth and Beauty Brigade. Sadly, I’m doing so about six years too late.

Why must life be so full of pain?
“Sour Times” - Portishead - Dummy
Damn, iTunes, this is the second question you have answered directly. I’m beginning to wonder if this meme really works!

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
“DOA” - Foo Fighters - In Your Honor
OK, I’m not sure I like this suggestion. Isn’t that what did Michael Hutchence in?

Will I ever have children?
“Free Spirit” - Jimi Hendrix - The Jimi Hendrix Story
I am going to take that as a “no” and move on.

Will I die happy?
“A View to a Kill” - Duran Duran - The Complete Singles 1981-1985
Well, if I’m going to die in public, I guess that’s something.

Can you give me some advice?
“Basement Apartment” - Sarah Harmer - You Were Here
Are you telling me to rent instead of buy? Are you saying that the housing bubble is about to burst? All of those people who told me that you couldn’t go wrong investing long-term in real estate were lying to me? I feel so… stupid!

What do you think happiness is?
“Summertime Blues” - Blue Cheer - The Wonder Years Soundtrack
So happiness will always be a paradox? I guess you could say that’s fair.

What’s my favorite fetish?
“Long Slow Goodbye” - Queens of the Stone Age - Lullabyes to Paralyze
iTunes, I think we’ll keep any further discussion of this between us. Prying eyes and all that, you know.

What is my significant other thinking at this very moment?
“Counting Backwards” - Throwing Muses - Counting Backwards ep
I suppose that right this moment, she’s reading my answers and thinking about how little sense I have.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?
“Brand New Colony” - The Postal Service - KCRW Morning Becomes Eclectic
Holy crap! One person cannot produce the requisite number of licks, and you will need whole colonies to complete the task! No wonder I always chomp after a couple of licks.

courtesy John McCarthy

Seriously, can you see him? Because I cannot, and I can’t for the life of me figure out how this is national news.

Jesus in a tree

If you can photoshop this picture and draw in the relevant Jesus-parts, that I may better see our lord and savior, I’d appreciate it. Otherwise, I call shenanigans.

Having never been Asian, I have decided that I am in need of having the experience of being Asian. I previously thought that this would require death and reincarnation, but as it turns out, a Hollywood actor knew what I was thinking and designed a special solution just for me: Steven Seagal’s Asian Experience Energy Drink. Werr, herro!

I knew that I would get this answer, even if I didn’t want it…

You’re Tenzil Kem, Matter-Eater Lad!

Which Legionnaire are you?

This morning, Jill Bernard sent me an IM that said, “Would you join the Navy if this were your captain?”

The link took me to this picture: