The curtains drew open and there was a policeman on stage. He said, “I am sorry, there is to be no show tonight. There has been a horrible crime.” The crowd mumbled and sputtered and stood from their seats. But there had been no crime, and those who stayed were witness to a mystery two rascally playwrites had scripted some years before. In fact, they’d staged six shows before this one, hoping each time that the run might gain enough notoriety that they might introduce such a bait-and-switch: you came for a musical and you got a mystery. Though the theater was empty within minutes, one patron observed several of the clues as he was leaving, including the empty light booth. He phoned the police station later with his suspicions, and was assured that there had been no crime at the Horworth Theater earlier in the evening. Brilliant, he thought, though the two playwrites felt utter failure, and never wrote for the stage again. Some years later, the man passed another crime scene, where a head and hands had been found in an alley, and felt great appreciation for the author of this atrocity as well. He asked if he might observe, but was quickly shuttled away by an officer on duty. When he returned home, he felt great shame, as if the he had robbed the world of a great detective by leaving the play that night, and thus he returned to his books.

Hi, robot. Robot, row. Row, robot, robot boat. Ho! Row. Row. Ho, robot, row boat. Woe, robot? Why woe, robot? Row robot boat, woe-bot. Ho ho ho, robot, so row. Why woe now, robot, why? Why sow woe? No woe, robot, row boat robot, row robot boat. Reboot. Hi, robot. Reboot no woe: row. Row. Row robot boat. No woe, no reboot. O robot, no. Why? Boat slow, robot. Reboot. Hi, robot. Robot slow. Robot low. Woe. No. No. Woe. No. Row. Robot not low. No. Sigh. Slow. Reboot. Hi, robot. Row. Row. Row, robot not low, robot now slow, row robot boat now. Woe? Why? Reboot now. Hi, robot. Hello. …No.

God, the Stones album “Steel Wheels” just came up on iTunes. I can’t think of a better reason to shut down my machine.

The robot story above was intended to be much longer than it is, with more words and sounds added into it. I thought of it in the shower. By the time I had the chance to write it down, I was already pretty tired of it. I guess that doesn’t speak too well of its prospects for revision one day. But it was fun to tell a story by adding in new sounds only here and there and then remixing them.