As many of you know, I was for many years a season ticket holder for the Carolina Hurricanes. This year, with grad school and the DSI Comedy Theater open, it didn’t make so much sense to renew my season tickets.

We went to the disappointingly toothless Avalanche/Canucks game when Todd Bertuzzi first set foot on the ice in Colorado after the Steve Moore incident. The Denver fans managed to boo every time that Bertuzzi set skate on the ice or touched the puck, and there were weak one- and two-person chants of “coward” in the upper bowl. But otherwise, completely lame. Scott Stevens received much harsher treatment for far less each time he came to Carolina. (Proof that crowds are thinner, but the fans are superb in Carolina.)

Still, this experience has prompted me to pursue a career as a hockey player. So, to that end, I have enrolled myself at hockey academy. Can anyone ship me a guitar to Denver?