Earlier today, Ladybug and I were walking to the Flying Dog brewery, just to see where it was (I’m desperate not to get the cold that my body is getting, so the plan was to see the place, but not drink). It turns out that the Brewery is in Wyoming, but on the walk there, we passed Coors Field. I like Coors Field; we did a tour there last year, and it’s the only major league ballpark where I have ever set foot on the playing field. As we passed, I noted that the store was open, and if Ladybug needed anything– anything she could possibly dream of– that had a Rockies logo on it, they’d have it.

Perhaps only in jest, Ladybug said, “What about some glow-in-the-dark Rockies underwear?”

Well, of course I cannot pass up a challenge like this one, so I dragged her in there, and sure enough, we found glow-in-the-dark undies. A thong, no less! I told her to find her size, because we were going to purchase it. She thought this seemed silly, but I insisted. She’d dreamed it up, and clearly the Rockies mind-reading, store-minding AI fashioned it on the spot and put it one the shelf for us to find. So we were gonna buy a pair, dammit.

Well, it turns out that they had only L and XL in stock, which means that either the Rockies believe all of their female fans are chunky, or throngs of petite ladies are sporting some Rockies thongs.

We walked out with no Rockies gear and heavy hearts.