My wife likes the “Nip/Tuck,” which is a dandy show on FX where some plastic surgeons sleep with their patients and show their butts on camera. Seriously, you see one guy’s butt per episode, minimum. I’ve decided that maybe the best things to do is blog the best lines.

• “Once you’ve seen a woman’s cum face, you’ve seen her soul.”
• “You might be more adept at nerve reattachment, Sean, but I am a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy.”
• “I am immoral and unclean.”
• “We’ll never really know what gets them off, just like they’ll never know what it’s like to have a hard-on.”
• “Mr. Perry, I can’t tell you how happy I am that you’re a man… at least I know my way around a penis.”
• “You really have no idea what goes on inside of a woman, do you?” “I’ve been inside of enough of ‘em that I think I have some idea.”
• “There’s no law against sex with multiple partners or YOU would be on death row!”
• “I came when my mother went.”

Odd Nip/Tuck fact: When the doctors get it on, they do so in identical beds with identical sheets and identically arranged candles around the bed. F–ing creepy.

Upon learning of this blog entry, the wife claimed she was embarassed that she watches. But believe me, friends, she watches. High class entertainment.