My research study

Directions: Please only fill this study out if you are an undergraduate male. The results will be used to determine evolutionary characteristics of human beings.

Which woman would make a better mate?
A. secretary with small boobs
B. high powered CEO with jugs that are naturally bigger than Pamela Anderson Lee
C. porn star with fake boobs

Which woman would make a better mate?
A. secretary who may put out some when married because she is tired from working all day
B. high powered CEO who will get buck wild on command and let you slip it in from behind
C. porn star who may put out some when married because she is tired from working all day

What do you like best about porn stars?
A. risk of HIV infection
B. seeing her on-screen with other dudes
C. silicon

What do you like best about high-powered CEOs?
A. they make obscene amounts of cash
B. they have to work so hard that they only have time for one man, and may have been so career-driven up to this point that they are still virgins, dude
C. ugly chicks don’t tend to get ahead

What do you like best about secretaries?
A. some did not graduate from high school
B. makes coffee
C. may not make enough money to go to the gym, buy make-up, or pay for your beer

Which woman would make a better mate?
A. secretary
B. high powered CEO
C. porn star

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Research note: Only the final question will be used in our research study– the rest can be disregarded. This study will conclusively determine the evolutionary characteristics of the species.