It’s New Year’s Day, and man oh man, do we have a slew of New Year’s resolutions. We figure we will make a big ole bunch of them, since a high percentage of resolutions don’t get kept. We figure that out of all of these, we’ll have to keep one or two. So, here they are–

The RossWhite.com Staff New Year’s Resolutions List

• lose five pounds by the end of 2005
• keep home office workspace cleaner
• create a minimum of five stencils with significant artistic merit*
• stop betting against LeBron James, stop betting on all other sporting events, as we invariably lose
• make toilet time more productive by taking laptop computer to bathroom and blogging during every poop
• meet Eddie Van Halen
• remove all traces of Liz Phair from CD collection, as she is now a ridiculous charicature of herself
• download “Bling Queen” wallpaper from Jamster for only $1.99 a week
• stop poisoning our rivals
• continue developing technology that powers itself by eating the living
• continue torturing enemies, regardless of Justice Department guidelines
• give more praise to French culture
• convert a pride of lions to Christianity
• make more savvy choices for school media centers, including “Walter, the Farting Dog”
• keep our shirt on

*significant artistic merit to be judged by the staff at RossWhite.com or our cats