So, let’s talk about sports for a second. The NHL players are talking to the owners again, which is good and makes me think maybe I should start talking to all of my ex-girlfriends again. Wait! No. My ex-girlfriends won’t agree to pay me millions of dollars. (And, in all fairness, no service I provide would be worth it… but arguably, no matter how good a hockey player is, $9 million a season is kinda steep.)

So I’m hopeful that maybe I’ll get to go see some hockey again someday, and maybe it’ll still even be in North Carolina, where the owner claims that he loses less money in a lockout situation than he does when the team is playing. This is the same man who has “promised” that the team will not be folded or re-located. This is a man who maybe doesn’t like to make money. I don’t get how you can write off a business loss on your taxes… it seems like that promotes bad business practices. But hey, when I file my 1040 every year, I do it. I just never claim to be a very successful businessman.

But the NHL is not the news that thrills me, baby… I’ve officially become remotely interested in NBA hoops again. I’ve adopted the Charlotte Bobcats as my new favorite team, primarily on the basis of their box scores. I have yet to see the team play, and I love them! Previous to this season, I could not have told you a damn thing about this motley cast, and some NBA pundits (if they have pundits in professional sports, which I maintain they do) said they could challenge the record for fewest wins in a season. And they’re 4-10!

Emeka Okafor has six straight double-doubles for a team that was not supposed to be able to score more than twelve points a game and was reputedly going to suit up Bono if the roster got more thin! I love it! No high school kid will win Rookie of the Year this year! It’s all you, Emeka All-Star-Afor!

The team seems fluid and versatile! They’re not awesome, but they seem to play a tough defensive game and they get scoring from a lot of places– Melvin Ely, Keith Bogans, Steve Smith, Gerald Wallace, Jason Hart, Jason Kapono, Alexander the Great, Davis Love III and Marlon Wayans have all scored in double digits for the Bobcats this season. Coach Bernie Bickerstaff seems to have convinced his group of nobody-wants-yas that they have the ability to hang with anyone and actually beat anyone below .500 or the New York Knicks (who will invariably end the season below .500).

I might be getting NBA fever again! Baseball is infected by steroids, following football means having to look at Peyton Manning’s forehead, and hockey is sooooo dead right now! So, if you need to get me that perfect Christmas gift, I don’t think it would be hard to visualize me ballin in the hood wearing a Bron-Bron jersey, right?