Dear Black People,

We don’t really hate you. Sure, we fought long and hard to keep you segregated, and sure, we used to lynch you. But we had to come out against the recent ballot measure that would have removed racist and segregationist language from our state constitution, which looks now like it will be voted down. It’s not because we aren’t offended by the language– it would be politically wrong of us to say that we aren’t. No sir, it’s because if we vote to remove that language, the devil will use it to gain a foothold! If we remove that language, we’ll open ourselves up to all kinds of new taxes! (Never mind that we’re the leaders who would have to propose and pass the new taxes.)

Now, surely you can’t be mad at us, black people, because loving economic freedom and religious flexibility puts us in a position where we have to continue to appear to hate you. I think we can all agree that if we truly hated you, we’d open up the possibility that you could be taxed more, and we’d open up the possibilities that someone, somewhere down the road might remove some of the protections for private Christian schools.

We hope you’ll vote for us again in the future, even though it really, really looks like we detest you on the basis of your skin color.

Love,
A Healthy Smattering of Your State’s Politicians

We don’t really hate you. Sure, we fought long and hard to keep you segregated, and sure, we used to lynch you. But we had to come out against the recent ballot measure that would have removed racist and segregationist language from our state constitution, which looks now like it will be voted down. It’s not because we aren’t offended by the language– it would be pretty morally ambiguous of us to say that we aren’t. No sir, it’s because if we vote to remove that language, the devil will use it to gain a foothold! If we remove that language, we’ll lose protections for our Christian schools! Never mind that we right-wing Christians have a strong base needed to elect the leaders who would have to support legislation that shifted support away from these private schools back to the woefully-funded private schools.

Now, surely you can’t be mad at us, black people, because loving Jesus puts us in a position where we have to continue to appear to hate you. I think we can all agree that if we truly hated you, we’d support an amendment that opens the possibility that you could be taxed more.

We hope you’ll continue to praise Jesus and support Christian causes, even though it really, really looks like lots of us Christians detest you on the basis of your skin color.

Love,
The Christian Right